That’s a question even I can’t answer. I find myself being very sappy and nostalgic as the days inch closer to my 10 year anniversary. Trust me I was the bride walking back up the aisle with the man on my arm thinking “It’s ok if this doesn’t last, there’s always divorce”. Now before you give me a lecture let me just say that I didn’t marry him thinking that I could just get a divorce any time I wanted….I used it to remind myself if I was miserable there always was a way out. I wanted it to work, but I reminded myself that it would be ok if it didn’t.
So I wonder…how did I go from that scared little girl who got married because it felt like the right thing to do to this wife who is madly in love with her prince charming? Well that first thing I did was to accept my monster. From the moment my now husband was nothing more then a moving little cursor in a text box (we met on the internet, keep up people) I told him about my flaws. I told him I was an only child and was very selfish. I explained to him that I would never share my watermelon and I’d probably throw a punch at him if he tried to steal some of my ice cream. I embraced it and I owned. My selfishness is who I am and I didn’t try to hide it. The honesty didn’t scare him off, actually he just laughed at me. Of course it was in his arrogant “I can handle that kind of way”, but he accepted it. He accepted me, just as I was.
The next thing I had to over come was that he wasn’t perfect. He didn’t fit my list. He would never host big super bowl parties with the guys, he would never leave me for the weekend for a big manly hunting trip, he would never go to work in a suit and work 80 hours a week to bring home more money then we would know what to do with. Nope he just wanted a family and a wife and love them with all he had. Believe it or not interwebz it took me awhile to be ok with that. It took me time to realize that was a much better dream then anything I could have ever imagined.
So recently the husbter had taken to asking me why I’m still here. Why I have stuck it out with him for 10 years, but I don’t know how to answer him. My most honest answer is because he is well him. I could get all cheesy and say things like his smile, his eyes, sappy stuff that you don’t want to hear about and that I don’t really want to share with you. 🙂
But then I had a better answer. He sent me this awesomely written article. It talks about the top 6 reasons why women aren’t married. I know what you are thinking…how could that article explain why I am happily married….well it has some awesome ideas and thoughts. The last paragraph really hit home with m:
The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway — because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self — you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:
That’s what it is. Every day I’m practicing. Every day I’m trying to be the best wife, the best mother, the best teacher I can be. Some days I get it right, some days I get horribly wrong. I’m going through this long journey making mistakes, having fun, and with the best side kick for me. The one who wants the same journey. The one who will push me when I’m weak and the one who will step back and let me go when I’m strong. The one who loves me when I’m selfish and laughs with me when I’m funny. The one who can finish the song in my head just by looking in my eyes. There I go getting sappy on you guys. I’m sure some of you are laughing at me. Thinking things like “wait until you have been together 25 years and such”. In this time sadly 10 years is a huge milestone and it’s one I’m very proud to have hit. There are many people in my life who I wish could experience a love like I have.
Anyway I’m going to go ahead and stop before I ramble on too much more and get even more sappy on you guys. I can’t promise there won’t be more posts like this as we head up into the final days before our “honeymoon”. So I’m just going to go ahead an apologize for them now. 🙂