Ok it’s time for secret sharing, well to be honest this isn’t a big secret. The only place I have kept it secret has been from the interwebz. But first it’s time for a little confession…. I’m fat! Not Phat, but Fat. I have been for all my life, but I don’t want to be. I have tried dieting (sorta), I have tried exercise (very half assed it), so I know I can’t do this alone. I can’t ask my husband for help any more. He doesn’t like to be the bad guy and I am sort of on a mission to prove him wrong. I want to prove myself to him. There is always the option of surgery and while it might work for some people and it might be what they need, I personally believe I am too young to resort to that. So I have deiced to reprogram my brain! Hardest thing on the face of this Earth to do!! So here’s what I have done.
Step One: I can’t do this alone! So I employed my entire school to help me! I got permission for us to do a biggest loser challenge. I call it Mission SlimPOSSIBLE! So now there is a big group of support for everyone on this journey. We are all in different stages of this but we are encouraging each other just the same. There are workout groups going on around everywhere. There are healthy recipes being traded and high fives given for every little pound lost!! It’s AMAZING!
Step Two: Seeing results. Ok so the first week I lost 3 pounds, cue big smile! The second week I maintained, which meant I had to pay 1.00, but I didn’t get discouraged, I said “Hey at least I didn’t gain”. The second week I lost 5 lbs. Now you can’t tell….but it showed me that I can really do this! I was getting congratulations all over the place! Even from people I didn’t tell. Today I’ll go weigh again and we’ll see what it’s at.
Step Three: Water! I drink one soda a day and 2 liters of water! That’s a lot of potty breaks for a teacher. 🙂 Every time I’m drinking a bottle of water and I think I can’t drink any more I make myself count to ten while still drinking, just to get a little more. In no time I’m refilling that bottle.
Step Four: Food. Every time I’m pregnant I loose a lot of weight. Being afraid of throwing up every time you eat sure will make you eat less. So I have decided to eat like a pregnant person. Small little meals throughout the day. Even if I’m not hungry I make myself eat a small snack when my students are snacking. It seems to be working, because I usually eat half my lunch one day and the other half the next day.
Step Five: Changing how I think! How do you change 30ish years of thinking? 30ish years of thinking the only way to watch a t.v. show is with a snack? 30ish years of bored=hungry, angry=hungry, sad=hungry, mad=hungry, happy=hungry?? The answer is one day at a time! See that’s my personal problem with the surgery, I’m an emotional eater and surgery doesn’t teach you how to handle the emotional side. So for the last 2 weeks I have made sure I don’t eat anything after 8:00 p.m. and anytime I walk to the pantry to find a snack I use every ounce of will power I have and make myself turn around and get a bottle of water. That makes my tummy feel too full to eat anything else. This is the hardest step but I don’t want to let down my work family. I don’t want to disappoint them. It’s thinking things like…yes it’s my conference time and I have cash and they just refilled the m&ms…but I don’t want to walk down the hallway and have the other teachers see me. So I just save the money and go drink some water.
I have a very long and hard journey ahead of me, but it’s such an easier one because I’m not on it alone. I tell the teacher we’re all in the together, but secretly I managed to create my own cheering squad just to help me. It was a total selfish thing to do but it’s helping a lot of people. I’m recreating myself and my future one week at a time with everyone I love and care about by my side.