Sometimes it takes a child to get your ass in gear

I like to think that the hubster and I have a great relationship but for the last ten years we have had this “big elephant” topic that we never talked about, religion. I was born and raised Catholic and hubster..well he’s kind of a “I can get close to God in the middle of the woods outside why do I need to be in a room with someone telling me what to believe” type person. I totally respect that and I think in the last 10 years my relationship with God has grown more than ever. I can now see his work in my life and can trust him more then I have ever been able to.

So we raised our kids talking about God and believing the best we knew how. I knew that sooner or later the topic was going to have to be discussed. I knew that a decision was going to have to be made. I honestly felt of all the things we do for our kids this was one of the ways we were failing them. Veronica is of age that if we were going to be Catholic she was going to have to take her First Communion. Danielle didn’t know how to sit still for an hour because she had never really been to church. ** This is where I feel the need to say that the hubster and I were married in a traditional Catholic mass and all of my children are baptized Catholic, though the priest that did it will tell you that doesn’t make them Catholic**

So a couple of months ago I was tucking Veronica and Danielle into bed, it was Danielle’s turn to go first and that gave Veronica time to get ready. When I looked at Veronica she was praying. I asked her if everything was ok and if she needed to talk. She told me that everything was fine but she just wanted to take a minute to pray since we never did. There it was! The swift kick in the ass that I needed. That small statement was enough to get me in gear. All the nagging from family members was just annoying and I had learned to ignore it, this was an arrow to the heart that I was failing my children and myself. So I made a decision that I would tackle the big elephant in my relationship and I would tell the hubster what I wanted for the family.

I will admit that I had been afraid. The hubster has this annoyingly wonderful habit of dissecting every single thing I’m saying to make sure I know exactly what I want and I’m not trying to make other people happy (a bad habit of mine). So I typed an e-mail…I know what you are thinking, yes I was taking the cowards way out, but y’all sometimes it’s hard to talk when those big brown eyes are looking at me questioning everything I say. It was a way for me to make sure I said everything I needed to say.

This was the last line of the very long e-mail I sent him, I was shaking the whole time I wrote it because I was scared. Scared it would upset him, scared he would tell me no and scared it could be the possible deal-breaker I always feared it was.

I love you Rex and I love the life we have created for ourselves and our family. It’s time that we bring God into it and teach our children about Him and all the amazing things he has done for us.

Then I waited, for a phone call, for a Google chat message, for something. This is the first line of the e-mail I got in return.

Never could I be more happy and more proud.

So I am happy to report that next week Veronica will be attending Vacation Bible School at the Catholic church (Danielle isn’t old enough yet), I have the paperwork to officially join the Church and she will start her CCD classes in September. We have a new nightly routine where we get together and pray before we tuck the girls in. In just the two weeks since we have been doing that I have seen tremendous growth in my kids. When they are shy or don’t really know what to say they ask for a moment of silence, when they want to talk to God they talk and we all listen.

The first time Danielle just giggled and laughed, then she started asking for silence because she didn’t know what to say however now she prays with us.

The other day she had an accident where Jillian had fallen off the bed (don’t worry it’s only about 6″ off the floor) and when we were praying she told Jesus that she was sorry Jillian had fallen but thanked him for making her little sister ok. It made me happy for the journey we are starting with our family and sad it had taken us so long to start it.

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