So I was out to dinner on Friday night in a very weird situation. It was with family where I am usually a lot more comfortable…but the conversation was more the anyone wanted to hear. Yes sometimes I’m playful and sometimes I’ll talk like that but I guess I just wasn’t in that frame of mind that night. So they look at me and say that I am more like them then I think because we both wear masks. So that got me thinking.
Yes I do wear a mask, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. My mask keeps my secrets safe. My mask hides what goes on behind closed doors with my husband. Things that no one wants or needs to hear about (except when I’m texting my bestie). My mask also keeps my fears and heartache safe and sound so that no one else has to deal with them. I don’t ever want to be a burden to anyone else. I don’t want anyone to think they have to carry my heartache. I feel that the mask I wear allows the people around me to think that I’m always happy and things are always good, because if you think that way for long enough then even the worst situations can be seen as good.
So I continued this mask conversation with my hubster and another friend. Friend number 2 agreed that I wear a mask…but that around him and hubster I pull it down a bit. So we started talking about who we are when we around different people and in different places. (Ok I know this is a crazy train of thought…but just try to follow me. 🙂 )
At work hubster has to say a lot of things without saying them. He has to “read between the line” and sometimes even speak between them. However once he walks through the front door he lets all that go. He says what he means and nothing else. When he says yes to something that is exactly what he means…not yes, but it’s gonna be difficult to take care of. He is in his sanctuary and is able to leave his masks hanging up with his keys at the front door.
We all need those places and people in our lives where we can let our true self show. Where we can be honest with what is in our minds and our hearts. Also we all need the masks to protect us in some way. So I guess I have always known that I act differently at different times…but I do it because it’s what makes me most comfortable. So interwebz don’t be ashamed of your mask, it is part of you. Wear it with pride!