** Disclaimer!! This post will have bad words in it! This post will talk about sex!! This post might make me turn red, and if I know you in real life I might pretend that you never read it. Especially you that I “sorta” work with who I finally figured out belongs to that e-mail on my subscribers list!” So you have been warned! Read at your own risk**
While I’m deep in the wild, heart racing, scary, kinky world of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steel. Ok I’ll admit, I was drawn to the book like most women because of the tales of wild and crazy sex. It has been said that this is the book that e-readers were invented for, meaning respectful woman could openly read about the “kinky fuckery” without having to be embarrassed. I’ll be honest…it’s on my nook.
So I’m halfway through the first book and I start to think that there is no way I can tell the Hubster what I’m reading. There is no way I can talk about the new use I have learned for a riding crop. Then there is a change and Hubster and I start talking about it. We leave the “Red Room of Pain” with our characters and learn that they are normal people. Ok I know how that sounds. I know that normal people can have wild and crazy “maritals”, but guys these people are way crazy! I will never roll my eyes at someone again!! They start to talk through their feelings and why and how they like and don’t liked to be touched. It starts to make sense.
Hubster and I start to see some of ourselves in the characters (no I don’t own a flogger). We start to see how the way we communicate affects the other person. Now please understand the hubster and I have always had great communication and because of that we don’t fight a lot. We have learned how to have healthy arguments. Anyway back to the books.
** Ok here I have to give you a little background on me before I go on.** I HATE PDAs! I think they are rude! I think they are ways to get attention! I think they are sleazy! Now I will hold my husbands hand. I will hug him. I cringe every time he asks for a kiss in public. I do it sometimes because I know it’s what he needs, but I really don’t like to do it. He knows that and laughs at me when I don’t want to, and sometimes he does it just to get me out of my comfort zone. I know that is good for me.
So anyway back to my original post. I start to touch the hubster more, not like that, get your minds out of the gutter! Just in public, clothes on, perfectly ok in front of the kids. I guess I should say I’m being more affectionate. Again I love my hubbycakes, but I’m just not comfortable with some things. This change in me makes him take notice. He realizes that a lot of this started from the books and so he starts to read them too!
In true hubster fashion he finishes all 3 books in one weekend before I do. It strikes up more talks. Talks about why we react to each other the way we do. Talks about how our pasts have shaped us. Talks about how after 10 years we’ve gotten comfortable and predictable. Talks about what we like and don’t like, both in the bedroom and just in our relationship together. These last two weeks things have been amazing between the hubster and I. We can’t afford flowers, but there are more little things. A sweet little text message that instead of just saying “thanks” expresses the love for each other that started this whole crazy ride. There are days of leaving work on time and working together for 30 minutes to clean one room of the house to help me relax. There are taking each other feelings into account more often then we did (and I thought we did it all the time).
So I guess the whole point of all this embarrassing rambling is that yes it’s a book that’s all over the news. It’s a book that has been banned in places because of it’s “kinky fuckery”. Yes in a lot of ways it’s porn, ok in most ways it’s porn. Yes hubster and I have been ummm..having a lot of fun since reading the books. However more than all that it’s an eye opener. It’s that things are ok. It’s that our post can still affect us in ways that we would never imagine. It’s opening doors for woman to talk about things that they might not have had the courage to talk about before, things that were taboo. More than just a good story and some wild and crazy romps in the sack, it’s a good story. It’s a chance to connect to two people. I am grateful that the hubster picked it up, and I am grateful for the eye opener it has been to my marriage. Now I’m not going out to equip a Playroom…but I might have to buy the hubster a new grey tie! 😉
**And now I shall pretend like that all never happened….I’ll go back into my happy place and pretend I never said any of those things.**