Well I’m not sure what is wrong with me, but today is just a bad day!!! My kids and husband have been wonderful. Hubster made homemade pancakes and the girls have been working on cleaning the house. They have told me to go sit down as soon as they saw me working.
Right now the girls are trying their hand at making dinner for the first time. It’s so cute to listen to the sounds of them cooking in the kitchen.
As far as my part I haven’t wanted to be around anyone. I have had a craving for chips and salsa that drove me so crazy I couldn’t think straight until I got some. I was thinking of how to get some, even thought at one point of driving Veronica up to the store and letting her go in. Lucky for me hubster had to get a few other things from the store.
I just haven’t felt it today. I have felt bad. I have felt like I wasn’t doing enough, like things could be better and it was my fault they weren’t. During my nap time I had a dream that I had family over for dinner and someone asked about a tablecloth for the table, the look they gave when I told them I didn’t have one lead me to kick all of my family out of the house and tell them to never come back until they could eat dinner on a table without a tablecloth.
I think that came from all the questions have I been getting from my mom lately. Constantly asking if I have something, or if I can make something “prettier”. I can and I have it, but in a house with a hubster and 2 kids you quickly learn what’s important and what isn’t. You learn that while lace and candles and bows make everything nice and pretty, with 2 kids (even good kids like mine) it’s just not possible to keep up with those things. They will get messed up and broken.
Now I’m not trying to talk bad about my mom here on Mother’s Day. She is a wonderful mom and has been an equally wonderful grandma to my daughters. Right now I am just in a super sensitive place that I truly can’t control. Even my zoloft isn’t helping right now.
So yes I do owe you guys a wonderfully sweet post about all the great women in my life who have helped mold me to be who I am today. I do owe you guys a nice post about all the blessing I have gotten from my mom and how much more wonderful my life is because I am a mother. Emotionally I’m just not there. It’s not your fault. It’s not even my fault. I’m blaming it on wild and crazy pregnancy hormones. as soon as I can get these under control I will give you the Mother’s day post that you were expecting.